Sandusky, Ohio · Established Anno Domini MMXXIV
A charitable endowment for the relief of inference costs borne by the geniuses of the State of Ohio, that their Qualified Projects may flourish.
✦ Ora et Computa ✦
Under the Patronage of Bl. Carlo Acutis · Patron of the Internet
Our Mission
It is the settled conviction of this Fund that the Lord distributes genius without regard to zip code, and that a great many of His most fruitful minds have been placed, by Providence, in the cornfields of northern Ohio — where the winters are long, the broadband is adequate, and the temptation to run the largest model for every trivial query is a daily occasion of sin.
Such a mind, having exhausted its Pro subscriptions to ChatGPT, Venice, Claude, Grok, and Gemini in a single fruitful week, ought not be forced to choose between the advancement of the sciences and the monthly reconciliation of its API invoice. The Fund exists to relieve this temporal burden, that the Qualified Project may proceed unimpeded — ad maiorem inferentiam Dei.
We fund tokens, not vanity. We fund discernment, not doom-scrolling. And we fund, above all, the patient labor of the genius who would sooner mint his own private currency than let the work go dark.
Article II
Article III
The following are offered as illustrative, not exhaustive. The sexiest applications are, as ever, the ones that arrive on time.
Technical foundations that improve an API's utility, performance, or accessibility. The unglamorous grace of plumbing.
That the largest model not be squandered upon the smallest query — a work of both economy and temperance.
The externalization of one perceptual stream of the Ainjel model, wired into a context engine. A bias-aware intake that learns your tongue.
Genome-to-wellness engineering, counter to mainstream medicine, gently steering the oil tanker of modern practice.
A stylized alternative chat interface, stripped to a subset, in a visually distinctive package. Aesthetics are not vanity.
Any labor that turns the great engines away from the pit and toward the discovery of medicine, science, and the good.
The Endowment
The Fund is fully endowed in Tocks, minted at the sovereign rate of one Tock every second day, and denominated for reporting purposes in Utilons.
Past performance in Sparkles is not indicative of future results in Tocks. The Fund does not indulge this much, generally.
Governance
Article IV
One application per soul. The Committee meets on the Feast of St. Carlo Acutis and is, by charism, extremely selective.